Treat Yourself

Rachel discusses self-esteem and success. 

So many people over the years have told me that the key to success is 'working really hard'. Dedication together with food, water, and sleep are a crucial mix to achieve any goal.

And that is where the advice often ends.

But clocking as many hours as possible is not a recipe for success. It's a recipe for short-term gain and long-term destruction (Fleming, 2018). Not only do 72-hour weeks contribute towards reducing a person's dedication, but they also impact negatively on the other important elements of success. If you are working 12-hour days, chances are you are also skipping meals, on a caffeine drip, and not catching enough sleep. Human beings are not made to operate like machines.

Having volunteered for years with GirlGuiding UK, I have watched time and time again as schools put an intense amount of pressure on students to 'work harder', 'do more', and 'get better'. But all these students are hearing is 'I am not good enough'. Is it any wonder 82% students suffer from stress and anxiety (Veiber, 2017)?

Now is the time to refocus. If we chose to look at our successes rather than our failures and acknowledge our efforts over our shortfalls, we can form a positive view on the work that we are committing and recommitting to every single day (Herald, 2014).

“Here’s your protection for whatever comes: Find something to be happy about every day, and every hour if possible, moment-to-moment, even if only for a few minutes.” - Gregg Braden

Mr Braden has it right! The only thing he doesn't warn us though, is that positivity isn't easy to achieve. It doesn't appear over night. Sometimes we need a little boost to help us get through! Science shows that individuals providing themselves small incentives improve their self control and energy, feeling contended, comforted, and cared for. The contrary is also true; when an individual fails to incentivise themselves, they can burn out, becoming depleted and resentful (Rubin, 2014).

This is where I come to my title: Treat Yourself! On the days you are struggling, banging your head against the wall is not going to help. But going out for a brisk walk, having a real cup of coffee (not the instant stuff!), or doing whatever it is you enjoy doing in your 'me time' - might! Providing oneself with treats is proven to help maintain healthy and good habits (Rubin, 2014).

I am currently in the midst of revision. Now it is crunch time - exams are around the corner. I cannot devour enough information quickly enough! That said, spending eight hours a day hunched over books can become monotonous and ultimately demoralising - I have yet to meet someone who loves revision.

So I break up my day with little treats to keep me going; I practice some mindfulness techniques, volunteer, get a manicure, have a cup of hot chocolate (I'm not a fan of coffee!), work on an art project, or even write a blog post! There are millions of different things you can do to help you over a 'hump'! There is no one-size-fits-all. Keep trying until you find whatever it is that works for you!

I hope whatever it is you choose to be and whatever it is you choose to do to break up your day; you find something that puts a smile on your face!

I have found self-rewarding to be one of the most effective strategies for handling stress. You may have other tips or methods, so please feel free to share them in the comments section!

Rachel Gordon is a student at Brunel University London, reading Business and Management Bsc. A creative writer, Rachel is also an active blogger at her site www.millennial-me.co.ukand in a recent collaborative project, she released a motivational calendar for the year 2019 to raise funds for charity. Rachel volunteers for The Scouts Association and GirlGuiding UK; charities that offer a wide range of opportunities to children and has achieved awards for her dedication. Fluent in both English and Hebrew, she privately tutors Modern Hebrew at both Primary and Secondary Education Level.

For more articles, tips, or information, get in touch: @millennial_me_

Here are some supportive links if you're struggling with managing university stress: 

Starting University (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/startinguniversity.html)

Mind Matters (https://www.studentminds.org.uk/mindmatters.html) 

Fears, Futures, and Third Year

In this blog, Phoebe discusses final year stresses and the fear of life after university, giving some advice on how to manage these worries. 

I'm in my final year now. I'm very stressed and fearful that I may or may not have taken too much on. Certain things haven't gone to plan and the future is rather uncertain at the minute. 

Being a student isn't all fun and drinking games, but recently I've been feeling immensely overwhelmed by life. It's finally time to start getting approval for my dissertation, my third-year placement is beginning soon, and I kind of don't know where to begin with planning my life after university. 

I'm more than aware I'm not the only person in this situation. Many other people will be about to embark on the same pathway as me, so in the midst of my uncertainty here are a few thoughts I came up with: 

It's OK to feel like this: it's totally OK to not have everything figured out. I know myself enough to know that I can get through this, and similarly you will find your way. And if you need support, then seek it: everybody needs a helping hand at some point in their life. 

Reach out: Once, during my first year, I hit a real low with my mental health. It was one of the worst relapses I've ever had and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ask my friends for help because I was so scared that they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore. But they stayed with me until the early hours of the next day and it actually brought us closer together. So don’t be afraid.

Believe in yourself: I think the main thing I'm going to rely on this year is myself. I know that I work hard and I know that I can do this: this current stress will pass. I'm going to give this year my best shot and if I don’t get the grade I want, then actually, that's fine. My best is all I can give and my best also involves taking care of myself. 

Take care of yourself: Recently I realised that there a lot of potential limitations to my research project and I'm absolutely petrified that it won't work. Whilst I've been an anxious mess, getting disproportionately stressed, I completely missed the connection that would tie my topics together. Taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself might actually end up being the one thing that helps you carry on. 

There may be overwhelming moments lurking in the future; stress may be about to surmount to quite high levels; but I guarantee you one thing: you are more than capable. Everything you need is within you and there is so much support available around you, for you to use when you need, and to help you reach where you want to go. 

My name is Phoebe, I’m 20 and a 3rd year Psychology student at Nottingham Trent University. I spend a lot of time campaigning for mental health awareness and I’m an ambassador for a number of mental health organisations including Beat and Time to Change.  I also have my own personal blog which I’ll leave the link to here: https://phoebebarr6.wixsite.com/website. Feel more than free to get in touch!

  

Dear Fresher Me

Michael writes about some tips and tricks he wish he knew as a fresher. 

Starting university can be a really fun, exciting, and self-defining experience. But it can also be challenging, particularly whilst you settle in and find your feet. I started university after spending two years in full time work and I found it really intimidating and overwhelming. I felt like I didn’t belong and this made me anxious around others and pretty hard on myself. 5 years later I am still at uni and much happier. Here, I give my 5 #DearFresherMe tips for managing when you start university.

1.      Find Your University Support

You might not need it but it’s always helpful to have an idea early on of where to go for support if you feel like are struggling. Find out what student welfare services and general pastoral care your university provides, what they do, and how to access them. It helped me to speak to a member of the welfare team on the first day - after that, they looked out for me during the first few weeks whilst I was struggling.

2.      Ask for Help if You Need It. 

Speak up if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. I found that people were really supportive and accommodating if they knew you were struggling but, with so many other students, they might not realise something is wrong unless you tell them. Equally don’t be afraid to ask about uni life more generally. I thought that if I asked questions about the academic or social elements of university life, people would think I was stupid. But it becomes harder to ask the longer time goes on. The opening few weeks are a really good time to explore how everything works and ask questions.

3.      Get into a Healthy Routine.

You might find when you get to University that you have less compulsory contact hours than you expected. For some, this can make it hard to know when the work starts, whilst, for others, it can be hard to know when it stops. Either way, it will be helpful to get into a healthy routine early on to help balance your time and look after yourself. I found that it helped to treat my uni work as a job with set times and spaces; I chose to only work at the library so that I could keep my room as a time and space for me. 

4.      Get Organised

Because I felt anxious and overwhelmed, it really helped to get organised. Use a diary, record academic deadlines and other commitments, file your work, and regularly check and sort your university emails to make sure that you are on track and don’t miss anything. This will likely save you some stress and last minute panics!

5.      Relationships Matter.

Having a good support network of friends will help you get the most out of your university experience. Although building new friendships takes time and effort, it really is worth it. If you find it hard meeting new people, you won’t be alone – there will be other people that will feel the same and really appreciate a smile and a chat. Or you could try to find ways of meeting people with similar interests by joining societies or volunteering.

Everybody’s university journey is unique, and we all go to university with different hopes, fears and expectations. Try to take things at your own pace based on the advice that feels right for you. 

About Michael:

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.

Some useful links:

Finding Support: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/findsupport.html

Transition to university: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/transitions.html

Looking after your wellbeing:  

https://www.studentminds.org.uk/lookingafteryourmentalwellbeing.html

How To Make The Most Of Fresher's Week (And Beyond)

Rhianna looks back on her First Year experience and shares her 3 top tips for making the most of it.

- Rhianna Levi

University is such an exciting and life-changing experiencing. You’re not simply studying a degree; you’re also gaining new skills, opening yourself to new opportunities and meeting new people. It’s inevitable you’re going to develop immensely as an individual.

This time last year, I was starting that experience myself. So, I thought it would be beneficial to share my top tips in regard to starting University and making the most of that transition!

1. Take advantage of meeting new people. 

Whether it be on your course, in your halls or through university events, you’ll find many opportunities to meet new people as socialising is a big part of university life. Even though it can be terrifying at first, remember that you’re not alone in feeling nervous. You’re all in the same boat, hoping to make friends quickly.

Connecting with others from different backgrounds makes first year and beyond really enjoyable and eye-opening. What you will find is that the friends you make at University have a tendency to become friends for life!

2. Find and utilise the support available. 

In Fresher’s week, become aware of the support your university offers and try and remember this for the entirety of your University career. Your supervisors, your lecturers, the University mental health services and The Student Union are all there to help you settle and succeed, both socially, emotionally and academically. They do not bite; they are really lovely and approachable and will go out of their way to support you in your endeavours and wellbeing! 

3. Keep organised

Obviously, the first few weeks are very chaotic. They’re full of adrenaline and the apprehensive attempts of ‘Adulting’! However, when things start to settle, remember your passion for your course and your academic aspirations and responsibilities.

It’s important to keep up to date with the reading and tasks that your course gives. This will prevent you feeling overwhelmed and becoming too stressed. Use good time management and essay planning in your assignments, exams and projects. Also, act upon the feedback you are given. Remember, your tutors are NOT belittling you, but are helping you get the best degree classification that you can at the end of your degree! Finally, try and aim for regular contact with your personal academic tutor throughout the three years. They’ll help you to check your progress and are often a first point of call for if you begin to struggle.

Overall, uni will be a unique and exciting experience. Hopefully, these tips will make your transition a smooth one and will set you up for a great first year!

I am a 19-year-old BA Hons English Literature student from The University of Worcester with a love for literature, cats, coffee, and travelling. I am an active mental health advocate and blogger, and not only write for Student Minds, but also run my own blog, and I am largely involved in various campaigns and social media platforms. Hope you all like my writing!

How To Make The Best Of Time Out

Eloise shares her tips on how to make the best of time out from university due to your mental health. 

- Eloise Stark

Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Taking time out from university is a growing occurrence, and is often due to mental health difficulties. At Oxford, the process of taking time out has the intimidating verb “rusticating”, derived from the Latin word rus, which means countryside. This is because students were often sent back to their family in the country. 

Taking time out may be compulsory or voluntary, but despite the reasons for why you need to put a pause on university, there are ways to make sure that your time is well spent.

Recovery

If you have taken time out due to mental health problems, the first priority will be to work towards recovery. This may take different forms depending on your mental health condition and level of functioning, but could include time spent in hospital, outpatient treatment, trips to your GP, trials of medication, or various types of therapy. Trust in the people who are here to help you and be honest and open at appointments. If you don’t feel you are getting the right support, try finding an advocate or writing a letter to explain what you think you need. Don’t give up. The NHS is horribly stretched but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for sub-optimum care. 

My experience has been that you will get a degree of help from others, but you also need to learn to help yourself. There is no magic bullet and no one is going to swoop in and save you. But equally, you know yourself best. You are the person who can best learn about your triggers, your unhelpful cognitions, what makes you tick and what your ultimate goals are. 

It is important to be realistic about your recovery – it might not happen overnight and you might not be “recovered” when you return to university in a year or two. Indeed, some conditions may be lifelong. What you should aim for is improvement and understanding of how to make life easier. Aim for progress, not perfection, and remember that you can improve your situation, however dire it may feel. 

Making your time meaningful 

I found during my time out that at first I felt very low because I didn’t feel as if I had any purpose while I wasn’t a student any more. I had nothing to do with my time, and so I felt useless and lazy. I would have liked to find a part-time job but I was not well enough. So I mobilised myself to find things to do that make me feel purposeful and like my life was meaningful. 

I found several volunteering opportunities for a couple of hours at a time. For instance, I did some admin for the charity Oxford Hub every Wednesday afternoon and I volunteered at my local village library. I also tried some things that didn’t work out, and that’s okay too. I signed up to volunteer in an Oxfam bookshop, and was left alone on the till after a 30-minute induction. I was so terrified and anxious of getting the till wrong, that I gave my thanks but never returned.

Can you join a local sports team? Do you enjoy going to the gym? Is there a reading group you could join? How about a couple of hours helping in a retirement home, or a charity shop? Is there a local Scouts group you could volunteer with? There are tonnes of opportunities if you look hard enough! 

Goals

Keeping an eye on the future is an important thing to do. Make goals, even if they are as silly as seeing the S Club 7 reunion band live in concert. What do you want to do as a career? Would you like a family? Would you like to continue to do a PhD? On a shorter timescale, goals could be things like making it to see a friend once a week (social contact is very important during your time out too), or reading a novel every month. Be kind to yourself, don’t set anything too difficult for yourself, but keep the future in mind. 

Never give up

I know what it is like when it feels as if you’ll never get back to university. When you see your friend’s photos on Facebook or Instagram and they look like they’re having a great time, and you feel sad that it’s not you. But time out can be a wonderful, healing time if you make the most from it. 

You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.

- Elizabeth Taylor

Hi, my name is Eloise and I am a second year PhD student at Oxford University, studying at the intersection between Neuroscience and Psychiatry. I am passionate about mental health, reducing stigma and increasing empathy for people experiencing distress.

The Real Reason Why Every University Student Should Cook

The blog explains how cooking is an alternative to meditation and the how it can positively affect mental health.

- Sam

We’re all aware of the stereotypes around the student meal time. Noodles or baked beans on toast seems to be the go to that all your family assume you eat and to some extent this stereotype is accurate. Cheap meals that require little preparation can be a simple solution to the busy student schedule, but is there a greater benefit in labouring for an hour to create a more elaborate plate?

Many of you may have been deterred by the very idea of cooking an actual meal but bear with me – the benefits of cooking are severely underestimated. Maybe you fit the stereotype, or perhaps you simply don’t like cooking? Read on.

Cooking – and I mean real cooking – provides refuge from stress in the same way that meditation does. University live is hectic, busy and stressful. Juggling lectures, essays, your social life and extra-curricular commitments is very demanding. Without an escape, the pressures of uni life can be crippling.

The common way to deal with such problems is meditation. All sorts of counsellors, health gurus and professionals support the benefits of meditation, and rightly so – it can be invaluable. But meditation is not for everyone, I get it. Cooking could be the alternative relaxation method that many of us need.

Many of us struggle with the idea of sitting still and focusing on thoughts and feelings and, although meditation can be improved by practice, physically performing an activity may be a better way to switch off for a lot of people. People with ADHD, for example, would struggle with the concept of being still and focusing on their thoughts and cooking has proved a great way to deal with their hyperactivity.

So just why is cooking such a good alternative way to achieve mindfulness? Of course, slicing through vegetables with a perfectly sharpened knife can be very therapeutic, but there is a deeper benefit to cooking. Cooking is centring in a way that allows you to catch up with yourself and be truly in the present. With the busy modern life, many of us live at a pace that our minds can’t always keep up with. Cooking allows the mind to catch up as it works in tandem with your body in the present as the two are focused solely on the task at hand – creating a meal. Even when you are completing smaller tasks within the preparation of your meal, they are still parts of the greater goal.

Given the demands of making a more elaborate meal, especially when you are new to cooking, you stop thinking about all the other aspects of your life – the anxiety about that upcoming exam, the worry that you’re deep into your overdraft or the difficulty you have had finding good friends. Your focus is solely on creating a meal.

When you first start cooking, you may find it frustrating and your meals may not be Michelin Star, but no one said it would be easy. Much like any other hobby or relaxation technique, it requires practice. The more you do it, the better you get at it and the more you enjoy it. You might even find yourself creating a masterpiece every evening – now that will be rewarding!

Hopefully you will quickly become absorbed in your meal preparation and the deeper benefits of cooking will really start to show.

Not everyone is suited to the traditional means of meditation – even if you are, an active meditation may be a nice way to diversify your relaxation. Cooking could be the alternative that many of us need.

Hi, I’m Sam. I am a BSc Psychology student at the University of Birmingham and co-author of the Psych Life Bog (https://psychlife.co.uk/). Conversing with others and observing the pressures of modern life has given me a passion for showing young people how to look after their mental health removing the stigma that surrounds it.

Tips for Chinese Students coming to UK

This blog is written by a Chinese student who would like to share their experience with other Chinese students about coming to the UK to study.

-Ethan

In recent years, the number of Chinese students coming to the UK for Masters study has increased dramatically. I, as a Chinese student have been studying at the University of Edinburgh for 4 years, want to share my experiences with the incoming Chinese students regarding keeping your mental health in good condition while studying in the UK.

A year abroad is an experience that seems to end as quickly as it started. But for this whole year, you will be away from your family and friends, which may be tough. Therefore, it is important that you understand the social situation and living atmosphere while you are choosing the university, so you can come to the UK physically and mentally prepared.

Here are some tips which might be useful for keeping your mental health in good condition while studying in the UK:

1. Choose accommodation wisely

The first thing to think about before you come to the UK is to find an appropriate accommodation for yourself. Most universities in the UK provide accommodation for the first year Masters students and as far as I am concerned, it is the best choice for most of the students, especially for the Chinese students who are studying abroad for the first time.

If you do plan to rent a flat outside of the university, make sure you go through the process from credible authority. It is always recommended to live with one or two flatmates as you can help each other out in your life abroad.

2. Understand the living skill

The education system in UK universities are quite different from the Chinese ones. In the UK, you need to learn the skill of studying as well as taking care of yourself in your daily life. So, it is important that you learn some basic living skills before you come to study here, such as cooking.
A good study and living habit will also help you keep your mental health in good condition.


3. Find a good balance for your study life

It is always important to work hard during your time here, but it is also important to keep yourself away from feeling too much pressure from your studying. Although it is very normal to get stressed over exams or deadlines, it's not good to let the study pressure take over your life. Your mental health is much more important than getting a good grade. Therefore, you need to focus on getting yourself well, happy, and in the right emotional state to continue working while studying abroad.


4. Always look for help

It can be very easy to get stressed due to work or study while you’re abroad, and as a result you may feel very lonely. It is always better if you can to try and talk to someone else, such as your friends or family members when you are feeling in bad mood.
You can even visit the mental health website or call the night line for a bit of support too. You are definitely not alone, and I am sure there are so many people that are very willing to help you out.



Hi, I'm Ethan. I'm currently a PhD student study engineering in University of Edinburgh and wanted to share some my own experience and give some tips to Chinese student who are coming to study in UK regarding how to keep mental health in good condition when they study abroad.

The Importance of Self-Care as a Student Nurse

Jess shares her experience of being a second year student nurse while juggling self-care and trying to find a healthy work-life balance.

- Jess

As a student nurse you're taught from day one about the importance of compassion, care and empathy towards patients, and reminded to look after yourself as well. However, in reality fitting self-care into a busy routine can be very difficult.

As a mature student I already had a well-established job, my own home and a long-term relationship under my belt. I'd established my foundations but felt that it was time for me to do my nurse training. When I started my course however, I became increasingly anxious; I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious and was thinking too far ahead into the future.

I'm an inward thinker but my thoughts started to keep me awake at night. The constant overthinking began to have a negative impact on myself, so I decided that because my nursing means so much to me, that I couldn't let my anxiety take control and I started seeing a counsellor.

Initially I kept things to myself, I'd never been great at talking about my feelings and because I've always managed to appear composed, I felt like I could continue in that way. I'd stay composed when I needed to and then try and deal with the fallout in private, alone.

I felt like I was living two separate lives. I had the professional, hardworking side that was exceeding my own and other’s expectations. Then this other side of me that behind closed doors, had never cried so much, worried as excessively, or felt as deeply unhappy.

Counselling helped me gradually with being able to gain some control back. It took a long time as progress was slow but eventually it became less intense. However, I couldn't see that as the anxiety lessened because I'd subtly gone into overdrive. Alongside clinical placements and studying, I was working part time, and my relationship reached its conclusion; I had no time to see friends or take time out and I wasn't looking after myself. The worst part is that I didn't care either.

My appetite disappeared, I couldn't muster the brainpower to make simple decisions like what to eat. I was managing on very little sleep and eventually I was running on empty, and unsurprisingly my mood plummeted. I heard people saying I looked unwell, but I didn't listen, not until it became more frequent and I decided that whilst counselling was helping, I needed to see my GP and admit that I'd become depressed.

I didn't want to start medication, but I needed to. Thankfully I had a positive experience with my GP. He listened attentively, empathised with me and acknowledged that I was genuinely at a low point and struggling.

Slowly I started to open up to people around me, don't get me wrong I didn't start shouting it from the rooftops but I did talk to people I trust, and admitting I was struggling started to lift some of the shame and guilt I felt.

Looking back, it's as though I had to learn the hard way to recognise the importance of taking care of my own mental and physical health. I can't effectively care for others if I'm not taking the time to be compassionate towards myself.

I know there'll be times when I struggle in the future, but I've gained invaluable coping skills from counselling. I have a stable base with medication and know now that it's ok for me to say when I'm struggling and that it doesn't mean I won't become a good nurse. If anything it allows me to be more empathetic towards those that I will look after throughout my career.

My name is Jess and I'm currently studying Adult Nursing at the University of Bradford. I wanted to share my experience because it's difficult to admit you're struggling with your mental health when your chosen profession focuses so much on looking after others, making self-care very difficult at times. Hopefully this will help other nursing students to look after themselves throughout their training

Time to Rebuild

Michael writes about how a fresh start to the year can help you to focus on your goals.

Michael Rigby

The new year has arrived. Many people will be saying that old quote; “new year, new me”. I wonder how many times we’ve stated that. I’ve been saying the same words for the past few years now actually- I even said it again this year for 2018. Will I be successful this time? I guess I’ll find out in twelve months.

At this moment, I feel a difference. I’ve started the year by signing up for challenges such as treks for charity; I haven’t done anything like that for two years, and even then I’d already lost the love for physical challenges. But this year, as soon as the clock struck midnight and 2018 had arrived, I started rebuilding once again.

I’ve been attempting to rebuild since 2016. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve fallen back down and failed the attempt, each time knowing I will have to pick myself up again. However, this time I feel the hunger. Sometimes in life, you have to get knocked down further than you might want. Everyone has a limit, and I’ve finally found mine. I had enough of fighting with my mind each day- 2018 has to be the year I rebuild. The pieces will never go back into the same spot because my life has changed; I must re-invent myself, and that’s a challenge I’m happy to take on. I get to be the CEO of my own life and decide how I want to live it.

Therefore, I advise anyone who reads my posts; it is a new year and it can be a new you. You just have to make it happen. Whatever the situation you’re in, it can and will get better- don’t let anything negative define your future.

If anyone wants to view my instagram blog based on Mental Health, then follow @walkingtallclub. If you’re wondering what it’s all about, go and check it out.

Hi, I'm Michael Rigby and I study Sports Business and Broadcasting at UCFB Wembley. I have experienced mental illness, including depression and social anxiety since the age of 14.