My experiences as an LGBT+ student

In this blog, Emily talks about navigating university as a LGBT+ student and the importance of finding a support network.

“I’ve been embraced by a new community. That’s what happens when you’re finally honest about who you are; you find others like you.” – Chaz Bono.

When I first arrived at university five years ago, I’d never really considered what it meant to be LGBT+. Personally, I’ve never been one who prioritised sex or relationships. That hasn’t really changed during my time at university. However, university has been a chance for me to explore my sexuality and begin to discover who I am.

I’ve had strong feelings for males and for females. I would comfortably express myself as bisexual. However, simultaneously, I have never had any desire for anything sexual with either men or women. Therefore, I would also label myself as asexual.

Labelling myself as either bisexual or asexual has been something that I’ve only felt comfortable in doing throughout my most recent, final year at university. Before then, I’ve kept it a secret from everyone. Several things have made me more comfortable in being open about my bisexuality/asexuality confusion, including surrounding myself with people who are part of the LGBT+ community. Most of my closest friends are LGBT+, lots of the people I look up to as role models are LGBT+ and I love and cherish them all – they’re all also the kindest, most inspirational people I know. I think being around LGBT+ people has made me to feel more comfortable about my own sexuality and my own place in the LGBT+ community, and is also useful for other students who are learning about their sexual identity.

One of the regrets I take away from my time at university is not joining the LGBT+ society or attending of their events – I recommend this for any LGBT+ or questioning student. For the first four years of my degree, I didn’t feel comfortable being open about it. Then, in my final year, while I wanted to be involved, I was too busy. However, something I valued a lot was having the opportunity to explore my sexuality through the students’ newspaper. I wrote articles about being confused between bisexual and asexual, and I also wrote creative writing pieces with a focus on LGBT+ relationships.

Being an LGBT+ student at university isn’t always simple and easy, but one thing that I think really does make a lot of difference, genuinely, is having a brilliant support network around you.

“What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.” – Tennessee Williams. 

My name is Emily (Em). I have recently graduated from Swansea University with my BA in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting;  I was also involved with Swansea Student Media and the university's student newspaper - Waterfront. I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues and support friends who also have mental health difficulties. i am passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experience, both in helping me to explore and cope with my mental health as well as sharing my story in order to help others. 

Building mental health communities at university

As part of University Mental Health Day, Julia discusses the importance of building communities for students to talk about shared experiences of mental health in university.

- Julia

Coming to university having quietly struggled with mental health, I was keen to be involved in extracurricular activities and to build myself circles of friends. It has always been a coping mechanism if mine to find friends with common interests and surround myself with them. From choirs and music ensembles to other student journalists, engaging in shared interests has always been so important to me for my mental wellbeing.

During my first year, I was encouraged to seek out further help and relatively quickly, having struggled quite substantially, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was then that, as well as my friends and extracurricular communities, I started to engage with mental health communities in my university. Or rather, I started some communities myself. Joining the Students’ Disability Community and becoming actively involved and engaged in that, I was quickly elected to Mental Health Officer. I became aware that lots of students did not want to become involved in physical support groups because that was an intimidating step, so I created online support groups for Oxford Students on Facebook. These were all secret but could allow students to discuss struggles and shared experiences with services in the city. There are now six support groups for different mental health conditions, supporting over 500 students, and some groups have met in person now. Even though advertising these groups among the university community, it enriches the community in the normalization of mental health difficulties.

It can be easy to feel isolated at university when you have a mental health difficulty, and speaking to other students who also share experiences of mental health difficulties can make you feel less alone. Meeting with the bipolar support group for the first time, the other students and I shared our experiences – laughed at similar situations we’ve been in, and empathized with the bad experiences. It was so reassuring to be part of a community who understood what I’d been through.

Even now that I am stable and don’t feel that I need much support on a day to day basis, I still like to engage with other students who have struggled or are struggling with mental health difficulties. When you are part of universities communities, whether a sports team, a musical group, or a college at your university, talking frankly and sharing experiences make mental health normal for the whole community. Students I don’t know personally have approached me because my openness means that they feel comfortable talking, often for the first time, about concerns or struggles that they have had. To me, this exemplifies why community is so important for mental health and why it is the perfect theme for University Mental Health Day. Both on a personal level of support from the communities we surround ourselves with, and also seeing the change that happens to communities as we talk, without shame, about mental health.

Take action and be part of a growing movement to transform the state of student mental health. Join a Student Minds group on your campus or set up a group today. 

I'm Julia, and I'm currently studying music at the University of Oxford. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder during my first year and, since then, have dedicated my time to talking about mental health. As well as writing for the blog, I am one of the sub-editors and have been involved with Student Minds as a press ambassador, a peer support facilitator, and on their Student Voices Forum and Student Policy Panel. I'm also the Oxford editor for Blueprint, a student mental health magazine, and the mental health officer the Oxford SU disability campaign. I feel strongly about discussing aspects of mental health, such as hypomania or mania that accompanies my bipolar disorder, to reduce the taboo.

It's Time to Talk

Lucy shares her experience of being a peer support facilitator and highlights how the simple act of conversation can help change people's lives.

-Lucy

I believe that one of the biggest struggles when it comes to mental health is the stigma that surrounds it. It can cause a fear of talking to your friends and family due to feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or being unsure of how they are going to react. This as a result feeds into a continuous cycle of isolation.

Time to Talk is a day used to highlight the importance of talking openly about mental health. Just a simple conversation and a listening ear can make such a difference to the way a person feels about their mental health, and eliminate the previous stigmatised views. The more open we are and the more willing we are to talk, the bigger change we can begin to make on people's lives.

At University, I volunteer as a peer support facilitator for Student Minds. We run support groups for fellow students who are suffering with mental health difficulties. The aim of these groups isn't for us to hand out a diagnosis or provide any sort of counselling but instead, it is to provide support and a safe place for people to come and talk about their difficulties. Taking part in this volunteering has opened my eyes to how beneficial the simple act of talking can be. Having somewhere to go where you can freely discuss how you feel, and have people listen to you, can make such a positive impact on a person's life.

While running these support groups, we receive feedback from those who attend. They have expressed to us that it's great to know they have somewhere to turn when they have felt most alone. Some people explained that they initially found it difficult to talk about how they were feeling to their friends and family however through these sessions they have begun to find more comfort in doing so. Through these experiences they have learned how to open up and talk about their mental health without feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

In addition, some people have emphasised how good it felt to talk to like-minded people, which instantly caused them to feel less judged. It wasn't until they had attended a session that they realised they were not the only one struggling and instead, it was quite a common thing. It had lead them to view the people they see in their day to day life in a very different light. Instead of feeling scared to speak up, they felt more empowered knowing that those around them may be able to relate. By being the first to talk, they may also give their friends and family the confidence to talk about their own experiences too.

Talking about mental health is an incredible way to ensure that nobody feels alone. It de-stigmatises it and allows those struggling to realise that it is more common than they originally lead themselves to believe. Talking about mental health can also educate those who may not fully understand the reality of it, and allow them to feel more confident in speaking to those around them who may be struggling.

Without conversation, the isolation that those experiencing mental health feel, would never go away. They would remain stuck in their own frame of mind and never be given the opportunity to relieve some of that pain. The act of conversation and talking about mental health can make a huge impact on a person’s life. Providing a listening ear and a safe space to talk, can help support them through what may be a very difficult time.

It’s time to talk and give mental health a voice. We need to empower those who speak up and make sure they are listened to. It can really help change lives.

Hello! I'm Lucy, a Clinical Psychology Masters student at Anglia Ruskin University! Through studying Psychology and experiencing life as a student, I have become incredibly passionate about mental health and helping to make a positive change. I have been volunteering for Student Minds for the past 2 years as a Peer Support Facilitator at my university, and have been the Editor of the Student Minds blog since June 2017.

Mental Health Over Summer: Rachael's Experience

Rachael shares her experience of how best to work and rest during the summer.

- Rachael Johnston

What do you do to help with your mental health over the summer?

I try and keep myself as occupied as possible.  To keep focused, it’s really important for me to plan ahead and have things set in my diary to look forward to. My previous job as a teaching assistant meant I had the whole summer off; however, I’m now a support worker supporting children with additional needs, which makes this summer a bit different.

What do you like to do during the summer?

I have my birthday over the summer, so there is usually the build up to that. I took two weeks annual leave to be able to have some time with my family and friends to celebrate.  I have had a short weekend away with my mum, which was nice, and I braved a massage. I’ve never had a massage, so I’ve decided I want to try and keep up to see if it helps me unwind a bit more.

What do you find hardest in the summer?

When we do get the sun, it usually means shorts and strappy tops. Currently my weight isn’t great, so I’m very body conscious. I also have scarring from self-harm. This summer, I’ve been a bit braver, and on really hot days I’ve just thought ‘sod it’! Then there are the big events and get-togethers! Usually it’s a time when everyone seems to go out and there is never a reasonable excuse not to go, so I try and tell myself to give it a go. If things do get too overwhelming, I can always go, so I find myself driving to places and ditching the alcohol in favour of a quick exit if I need it.

What differences have you found in your mental health over the summer compared to when you’re at university?

I’ve never been a fan of the summer holiday, even when I was in school.  I like being busy and having something to do. So I do notice that when my brain isn’t occupied, I start to feel low. However, when I’ve not been in university for a while, I start to become anxious about going back.  I check and recheck my personalised plan so I can reassure myself that any new tutors know what additional steps need to be taken. I suppose that’s the thing with mental health: no matter what I do, that little voice never seems to be satisfied.

Do you have any advice for other students who struggle with their mental health in the summer?

I’d say plan ahead. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in.  If you’re not up to do something which you have planned, be honest and don’t just cancel, my friends have either been able to talk me round into going out for a little while, or they’re happy to find a good film and stay in.
If you have appointments through the summer, stick to them, get to them even if you’d rather be sitting in. Sometimes it helps your therapists to see you in person when you’re really down, to get a fuller understanding of your situation.
To avoid staying stuck in a cycle of wearing the same clothes for days, I also try and set an alarm to have a fixed time when I have to have a shower and change.


Are you interested in getting involved in the “Mental Health over the Summer” blog series? Please do not hesitate to email us at blog@studentminds.org.

Hi, I’m Rachael. I’ve been blogging on and off for a few years now around my experience of living with Anorexia and Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I’m meant to be on a break from university this summer I requested an extension for my last assignment due to a dip in my mental health, so I’ve been able to keep myself occupied with this summer with uni work and my job as a support worker.

https://thejourneyback2life.wordpress.com/2017/07/14/to-the-bone/